We Only Look at Covers Now

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Pull

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A great chasm hewn in the ground

Hard and deliberate, rectangular and right-angled, unnatural

Step to the edge, risk an unwelcome dive

Awkward landing, gut-wrenching pain

Deep and abyss-like, an eerie carcass

The wide curving steps were once an invitation, a touch of luxury

Now they’re at odds to everything, chipped on the edges

Like some sacrificial altar, wrought in reverse

Bowing to take the plunge

Descent instead of ascent, into the bowels, the pit

The cool crystallic walls

Feel hauntingly silent, like a snowy day

The echo and crackle under foot

The world above and outside is lost

An abandoned, redundant space

At once so empty yet so suffocating

Debris huddles in the corners, as if too afraid to let go of the edge

The fuzzy spray of some misplaced enthusiast

With a message to proclaim, little relevant and far from sight Who wanders with spray can in hand?

The child who drew on the wall?

Compulsed to leave a mark, tempted by any apparent canvas

Greedy for anywhere to leave a mark

Me, I see beauty in the blankness

Hurt by the angry ink marring the simple, the pristine

As if drawing a line under hope, potential, future

If only things could remain the same

Like a snapshot of sunnier times, water splashing

Simpler, innocent, blissfully ignorant

How cruel reality is, like this aching void

A reminder of what may have been, a threat of what will never be again

Can you drown in an empty pool?

Hip Surgery and ME: Society Has It Wrong

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idiosyncratic eye:

How do we respond to others’ health problems? With cards and flowers and promises of support and get well wishes? Or with suspicion and judgement and oblivion and avoidance? Maybe it depends on the nature of theur health problem. Maybe we only perceive the visible as ‘real’. Maybe we only understand what is required of us as onlookers and wellwishers in what is really quite a narrow spectrum of health problems. Maybe we don’t have the rnergy or understanding or commitment to be there for the ‘long haul’. Maybe we only understand two outcomes of illness: cure or die. Maybe we need to learn, to be taught, to train ourselves to see, understand and accept a bigger picture, a bigger model of illness.

Originally posted on Thoughts About M.E.:

I am proud to share a note that my husband, Ed Burmeister, wrote last week. He initially posted it on Facebook only where it received a lot of attention and was shared more than 250 times. It really resonated with the community.

Therefore, I talked him into allowing me to post it here as well. I am blessed to have such a supportive and loving spouse.

Last Wednesday, I had a complete hip replacement.  It was a short procedure (1-1/2hours). No general anesthesia required.  I was out of bed the day of surgery and home after two days.  On Monday, I started driving again and really could have done so on Saturday already. Yesterday, I returned to work. I was comfortably working away, largely free of pain.  I walk without a limp and with no assistance and am pretty much unrestricted in my activities. I never needed narcotic painkillers after…

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Heroes Yet Villains

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Once upon a time, when we were young
The heroes were white and pure
Stood apart, tall and strong
When did we raise them?
So they would always be taller?
Did we make them or did they make us?
Their gold glittered at us
Sunlight or human natyre?
But it was only there to fill the cracks
Distraction, lure, deception
Yet how we believed
Maybe we wanted to believe, hoped
Regardless, no matter what
For someone bigger, better, stronger than ourselves
But we worshipped eggshells
Fragile, broken, redundant
Hollow and empty, with nothing to offer
Yet they cast long shadows
We are forever in their thrall

The Nature of Me

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What is me?
A shadow or a being?
Something lost or something to be found?
If at birth I am me
Then once I was me
But now?
Who is me?
If at death I am me
Then I am not yet me
Then what of now?
Is me just a hope or dream?
Something far off
Until a line cuts through
And marks the end?
Something lost or something to be found?
What is me?
And what of now?
I am me
Something shaped by what is lost
Something shaping what is to be found
A someone in the passage of time
Me is a moment in time
And yet an entire lifetime
I am me

Vintage Buttons

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Last summer I was working on a knitting project and I needed buttons.  Lots of buttons.  Preferably cute ones.  So I asked around my friends to see if they had any they could donate.  One friend gave me a box full of buttons; unfortunately most of those were way too big for what I was doing but there were some amazing vintage buttons buried amongst them.

Want to see?

Lansing Pearl Buttons Two on a Printed Card

These ones were still on their original packaging

Lansing Pearl Buttons Reverse of Card with Metal Clips

I haven’t seen clips like these used before to hold buttons down – they remind me of the clips that hold new shirts together

Tiny Metal Button with a Portrait of a Lady

There’s something really Italianate about this one. I wonder who she was?

Metal Button with Three Holly-Style Leaves

Pale turquoise plastic button with coloured dashes

I’m not sure if this one is technically ‘vintage’ – I’m sure my mother’s clothing used to have buttons like this!

Metal button with flower shapes, some painted

Gold-coloured metal button with an openwork design of three birds

This one suggests ‘Celtic’ to me – or maybe Anglo-Saxon

Metal button edged with painted flowers

And this one feels Swiss to me somehow

Textured translucent plastic button

I think this could pass as a blancmange…

Round plastic button with gold painted edges and bumps in a rectangular middle

I see Lego brick…

Silver-coloured button with leaf design

For some reason, this one makes me think of the old thrupenny bit – was it the thrupenny that had the thistles?

Brown and white plastic button with an etched 'Indian' design

Metal-backed pearly buttons

My friend knows nothing of where they came from or when as  she was passed the box of buttons from a neighbour who has since passed; we just know that the lady used to travel as a nurse and bought buttons as souvenirs.  I don’t know if you could do that so easily these days, it seems to me that the round, plain plastic button has become as universal and generic as too many other things in the modern world.

Have you got any special buttons to remind you of places or people or times?

Things I Miss

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The Big Things

 
 

My friends

The seasons

The weather

 
 
 

The Small Things

 
 

Being part of something

Being there for someone

Coming and going as I please

Doing something on the spur of the moment

Doing things just because

Doing things for myself

Having things to look forward to