Losing a friend is one of life’s greatest tragedies. Maybe you knew it was coming, maybe it came as a complete shock. Maybe you got to say goodbye and all those other things you just had to say, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you were there at the end, maybe you weren’t.
Dealing with that loss is one of the hardest things in life. But they say life does go on, they say that time is a great healer. Maybe there is truth in those words. The pain will slowly ease, like any wound. Even if it leaves a scar. And yes, you have had to go on with your life; there are other people who need you, other responsibilities that you must take care of. But sometimes it truly feels as though life will never be the same again.
You see something on the television or in the news and you instantly think, oh I must tell so and so. But you can’t.
Someone sends you something funny in an email and you instantly think, oh so and so will love this and you want to send it to them. But you can’t.
Something great and amazing happens in your life and the first person you want to tell is them. But you can’t.
Something goes wrong and you want to say, I told you so! But you can’t.
You break something precious that they had given you. You’re heartbroken and want to tell them. But you can’t.
The seasons turn and you want to go to the beach or mess around in the snow with them. But you can’t.
You get to go to a dream place and you want to share it with them or at least tell them all about it. But you can’t.
Their favourite singer releases a new track and you want to know what they think of it. But you can’t.
You find those photos that you’ve been looking for for ages and you want to show them. But you can’t.
You find your feet automatically turning up their path on the way home as you go to visit them as usual. But you can’t.
You think of going somewhere, a restaurant or a park or wherever, but it’s their favourite place. So you can’t.
When you make plans for the future, you want them to be in those plans, you want to tell them all about it. But you can’t.
Maybe time does heal, maybe it does get easier as the weeks, months and years pass. In the meantime you have to live with that broken heart that no plaster will heal. And even when you have ‘moved on’, when you are coping well, one of these little thoughts will come unbidden and that hole will be torn open all over again.