It’s funny how some days your mind and soul just go blank, or worse numb. Whatever it is you do creatively in your life creaks to a halt because you just don’t have the inspiration or motivation to do it.
I’m a bit of a Jack of all pastimes but master of none. You already know I knit, albeit with relatively little skill or aptitude, but there are other creative things that I also enjoy doing. And probably have not have yet mastered either.
I love photography, taking photos. For me one of the most important things is how the camera allows me to record the minutiae, the mundane small things that are fleetingly important but are so easily forgotten. I’m scared of forgetting. That’s what got me started back in the days of hideously cheap and plastic-y film cameras whose blurry results are saved for posterity in equally cheap albums stashed in boxes in the loft. The cost of film processing was something of a dampener on my enthusiasm (or rather one that my mother imposed!). Now I’ve gone digital, I regularly despair of the sheer amount of files I can generate in a single month. Even a month of not doing much or going anywhere interesting.
At the moment though I am struggling with my photography. I’ve lost my inspiration and motivation. Sometimes one or the other, sometimes both at the same time. One or the other is actually worse, slightly more frustrating. I’m still taking the narrative photos that record the silly little things that happen day by day (I’ll tell you about the DIY another time) but the creative shots are few and far between. I just don’t seem to have it anymore.
It’s strange. Life’s not particularly bad at the moment, or at least not as bad as it has been. During crises then you’ll probably finding me still snapping away, distracting myself from the pain and trouble. Creativity is a distraction and comfort in bad times, it can bring you something beautiful and fulfilling when everything else around you is so bad, painful and grey. So I’m very grateful that that creativity stayed with me through such dark times and yet now, even though things maybe aren’t so bad everyday, I don’t have it. And I would like to. I want to be inspired, I want to be motivated. I want the comfort, satisfaction, fulfillment, happiness and beauty that creativity brings. A little ray of sunshine. But where do I find it? Where do you find yours?