Murphy’s Law #4

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I haven’t done one of this for a while.  Here you go:

There is a tendency to write tinned food off as the depths of abysmal as well as plain unhealthy, if not dangerously so.  So yes whilst I’m sure a lot of is rank (any macaroni cheese that looks like it’s in custard not cheese sauce, for example), then I’m also sure that some of it is jolly useful, especially for camping and emergencies like being snowed in and proper poorliness.  And you get vegetables in tins.  And fruit.  Preferably in juice.  Very handy and economical.

Anyway the problem with tins is that you have to get into them.  I don’t particularly like those skimpy wiry openers that seem to be the most common model about, don’t trust them and there’s nothing to get a grip on.  (Taps seem to have gone that way too).  We have a good, solid tinopener with proper handles that you can get your mitts round.

Until it broke.

Naturally we only found out that it had broken, somehow, somewhere along the line, when trying to open a tin of something that we were planning on eating right there and then.  Crisis.

Fortunately we do have two.  Aha!  The other one is with the camping stuff.  Oh.  In the loft.  Oh.  Any volunteers?  Silence.  Surprise, surprise!  Plan B was fish out the penknife from my ‘handbag’ (I use the term loosely) which was swiftly followed by the need for a Plan C to find out how to use the strange appendage which could possibly be the tinopening device.

It’s also very fortunate that Youtube has now been invented and is full of ten year old children wielding penknifes and posting videos of their achievements.  Isn’t the internet great?

But it’s like wine bottles and corkscrews.  The two don’t necessarily cohabit the same universe.  Especially not on picnics, when camping and any other impromptu occasions.  Tinopeners are also likely to be forgotten when camping.  (I’ve never thought to take tinned food on a picnic).

Of course there’s something about having a broken tinopener that suddenly makes you want to eat tinned food all the time.  And there’s definitely nothing quite like having to smash your way into a tin of peaches at midnight with the stabbing motion of a thwarted Neanderthal to make you appreciate the higher technology.

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7 thoughts on “Murphy’s Law #4

  1. Anonymous

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  2. This made me think about my grandma. She freezes her cheese and then can never wait for it to thaw so she’ll be stabbing at it with an ice pick and has stabbed herself more then once. I hope you are careful during your frenzied stabbing in the middle of the night!

    • Which, Youtube or penknives?! Hehe, we chose to admire the fact that his parents had brought him sensibly au fait with such things, better that they have a respectful knowledge young. ;)

  3. I love that last image. I have to agree that the openers only break when you need them, and that once you have a broken one, there are suddenly a million things you want to open.

I'd love to know what you think, concrit is especially welcomed on fiction pieces. Thank you.

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