WOE: Flavour Prompt

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~ Trigger Alert ~

She popped the smooth pills out of their blister pack, the snap of each one clear and sharp, and lined them up on the worktop.  Methodical, taking control.

There was a bitter taste in her mouth that no amount of water would wash away, the acrid bitterness of shame mixed with the sting of guilt and the sourness of failure.  It had given her an ache in her head and a weight in her chest that no amount of painkiller could soothe away.

She kept popping.  Rhythmic, taking control.

Her career had been the roles that she had craved since childhood, her job was to love and care.  What had she left now?  Her baby had died, her husband had left her.  There was nothing.  Her whole world had come crashing down around her.  Twice.

She discarded the last pack and eyed up the columns of white pills, stark against the worktop.  She had had enough of the questions, the stares, the judgements.  She had had enough of waking with that taste in her mouth, of living with it day after day.

She picked up the first pill and placed it in her mouth.  It was smooth and cool.

Maybe no amount of painkiller could soothe this pain but she wanted relief.

She picked up the next.

Write On Edge: Red Writing Hood - A Writing Meme

Most people confuse flavor with taste. These two words are not synonymous. Flavor and taste are no more interchangeable than Pennsylvania and Philadelphia. The second word in each pair is a subunit of the first. Your sense of taste is limited in scope to what your taste buds can detect. Flavor is a composite term embracing taste, smell, and mouth feel. (This last word describes the sensory responses other than gustation that take place on your lips and within your mouth. Touch, temperature, pain, kinesthetics, and the common chemical sense all help determine mouth feel.)

Judging Food

I’m afraid that my response took me down more of a ‘taste’ route as evidenced by the quote above.  Although I don’t like to write dark stuff like (well it’s not what I would want to read, I want escapism, solace and freedom from my reading), this just asked to be written down.  Thank you for reading.

Oh and the word count was 216, well under (for once!), but there wasn’t really anything more that I could add.

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34 thoughts on “WOE: Flavour Prompt

  1. the pace was great – definitely no more words necessary. It almost seemed to go to the cadence of ‘pop out of package, line up… etc’ – kind of eerie! well done!

  2. so sad… I think you captured what someone who is ready to end thought process might be.
    Love your description of flavour at the end as well makes me want to rethink my post LOL

  3. I know that feeling of just wanting relief – it came from a different source than hers but it was poignant just the same…I feel so incredibly sad for her.

  4. I could almost feel her pain and loneliness, and taste her bitterness in my own mouth! It’s heartbreaking, how much weight she carried on her shoulders, that you’d understand her need to commit that last act as a way of regaining control…

  5. Very well done. It is chilling, like others noted, and so powerful in its brevity.

    You capture her desperation, her devastation, and her determination.

    Kudos.

  6. I agree with other comments – No need to apologize away the prompt, I love the idea of the bitter taste of life aligning with the acrid pills: Perfect!

    One bit on concrit: “She kept popping.” – I had to read it twice, because I thought your narrator starting consuming the pills right here, as “popping pills” is such a common phrase.

    Loved it!

    :)

  7. So tragic! But I loved how each pill is somehow associated with a reason that she can’t go on. She lines them up like she’s lining up the tediousness of her life. Powerful, and well done!

  8. This is a very emotional piece, one that hits you in the gut as you see the unraveling of her life before your eyes. Very well done.

    And it still fits the flavor definition :)

  9. I loved the sensory detail in this writing. The taste of the pills, how they felt and what they liked lined up, waiting for their turn. This was written and I enjoyed it, even the dark side.

    BTW I understand exactly what you’re saying about sometimes a writing demands to go where it wants to go and you have let it:~)

  10. I love how the deliberate pacing suggests that this is not so much an impulsive decision based solely on emotion, but rather a considered and calculated response. Very evocative!

  11. I actually thought that you had a really cool metaphor going with the flavor of the pills and the flavor of her life. I loved that discourse into what flavor and taste meant at the end, and I almost imagined coming back to her after that and adding a sentence of reflection that would tie the nonfiction to the fiction with a POW.

  12. Oh, I LOVE this! It’s so sad, but fulfils the flavour (sorry, Brit) brief to a tee: because flavour is about so much more than taste. And to me as to many, failure can be almost intolerably bitter. Wonderful post.

I'd love to know what you think, concrit is especially welcomed on fiction pieces. Thank you.

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