Trifecta: Thunder

Standard

The constant noise hammering into the soul.

The shock and shudder of the whizz-bangs overhead.

The overpowering stench burning in the nostrils.

The seeping mud that oozed into everything.

But they sat idle waiting for orders.

Shortly though the word would come from up the line.

The thunder of the big guns.

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Trifecta: Thunder

  1. Thanks for linking up to Trifecta this week. I really liked the pacing of this short piece–the parallel structure of the first four lines and then the hesitation of waiting idle just before the big guns. Really nicely done. Hope you’ll come back soon.

  2. The fog of war. Your poem gives me an overwhelming sense of someone resigned to the inevitable… and the ‘hurry up and wait’. Just beautiful.

I'd love to know what you think, concrit is especially welcomed on fiction pieces. Thank you.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s