I opened up this file and had a strong feeling of how I wanted to process the image. At the time, I didn’t know why, just that it would be a lot of work and concentration for my shaky fingers and foggy brain. As I worked away, slowly rubbing away the colour from the figure in the centre of the photo, what this image represented to me became clear.
This is what Depression feels like from the Inside. The world can be beautiful, full of figurative and physical sunshine and yet you are numb, distant, Outside of all of it. There is the World and there is You. You belong neither in the World or even really in You.
Perhaps if you see this picture, either the image above or in real life, it’s easy to see the World and it’s easy to see a Person. But you on the Outside, do you see how Depression is?
Perhaps you cannot understand how it feels to be miserable, to be numb, to feel completely alienated from the Outside. You see the sunshine, you see the sand, you see the sea and you feel happy. Perhaps you cannot understand how it is possible to not feel happiness in such a beautiful place, on such a beautiful day.
I don’t understand either, I have to admit, but this image, to me, represents what Depression feels like, how Depression can look like. Just as it is hard to recognise or understand the Outside, especially a true or real Outside when you suffer with Depression, perhaps it is also hard to understand the Darkness from the Outside.
Submitted to WordPress’ Daily Prompt:The Outsiders