Alphabet of an Evil Lurgi

I am adversely afflicted by an abundant ailment

I am a braying beast of burden barking

I am a congested cur who’s correspondingly cantankerous

I am a draught-fearing deathbed dowager deigning dainties

I am entirely empty of energy

I am a feverish flibbergibbet fidgeting furiously

I am a grey-gilled ghost groaning

I am a health hazard husbanding handkerchiefs and hand gel

I am the incumbent of an irked and ill-humoured immune system

I am a jester still joking despite all the jams

I am keeling over, kicked, knocked and knotted

I am laid low with laryngitis so licking lozenges

I am a moaning Minnie managing miserably

I am no numpty, nipping noxious nouns niftily

I am an overwhelmed overdoer who’s overtired

I am a pitiful and putrid partaker of pineapple

I am quietly quitting

I am a rank reprobate raw from raucous roaring

I am a sorry sliver sniffling and sneezing

I am trembling yet torrid with a temperature and a torturous torso

I am utterly undesirable

I am a veritable visionary visualising the virus vanquished

I am a weak wretched wretch retching

I am an excellent example of expectorating

Y, Z and ampersand are off to bed with a loo roll

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