Labels and Lists, Soul and Self

It's funny how falling ill becomes the pursuit of labels.  Labels, boxes, the very things that we seek to shun in most circles become all that define us.  We become defined by what we cannot do. Sometimes it's so easy to get bogged down in what we can no longer do that we lose all... Continue Reading →

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Give me a Break

There's so many types of exhaustion.  No one tells you that you can experience more than one at a time either. I am exhausted. That is the conclusion that I have come to every day for more than three years.  See, I did it again.  I say that it's been three years since I relapsed,... Continue Reading →

Different

But they'll get ill and ruin the fun Or they'll get sick and cancel anyway And it's way too much for them Better not ask them at all When did 'don't stare' become 'ignore', 'avoid'? Don't make eye contact They might start talking Then what do you say back? Awkward. The ugliest truth is always... Continue Reading →

Difficult Decisions and Brain Fog

It's a decision that I face every day, maybe even twice a day. Or, at least, I should be facing it but because of the brain fog I often can't remember if I have remembered to or not. (Life's got very like that). You rip open the packet, out it comes and off you go... Continue Reading →

Pain Relief

- What is that noise?  Oh, it's such a strange noise. - That noise is silence. - Silence?  I do not know it.

A Year On

This wasn't what I was expecting.  It was meant to be all done and dusted by now.  Over it.  Getting back on with my life.  And it didn't work out that way.  A whole year.  Where did it go?  What have I to show for it?  I don't even think that I've made any progress. ... Continue Reading →

Reality Check

I dream that I am on a train. At first, the train is just a means to an end - I am stuck on it, I am escaping something else - but then my subconscious realises the glorious potential that being on a train can offer. No more bad weather, failed connections and terrifyingly dark,... Continue Reading →

My Goldfish Year

I have learnt to live with my limitations on a day-to-day basis; I mean, I just don't have the energy to fight it anyway!  Most days, I don't expect myself to do anything in particular and certainly not by any particular time or in any particular order.  I let my day unfold as my body... Continue Reading →

Pain is…

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