The silent treatment.
You know when you’re working your way through flatpack instructions, a recipe, a knitting pattern or whatever and you get to a really complicated part, what happens? It goes quiet. However florid the steps might have been previously, as soon as it gets really nice and complicated, there’s a complete silence. Nothing. You’re left in the dark, baffled, a little anxious.
If there are any instructions accompanying this step, the most challenging, the most confusing, the most mysterious, then these will also be tantalisingly, infuriatingly vague on this particular step.
One moment you’ll be working along quite happily but then all of a sudden the genius who was obviously responsible for the instructions and whose elevated mind clearly works in very different ways to your own has a completed stage on their hands. You don’t. You now have to decipher their thought process as a mere simple minded being to find out how they got from G to M in one easy, fluid step. Surely it isn’t possible?
Never trust instructions or patterns or recipes is the conclusion I have come to. Or at least read them through very thoroughly, envisaging every single step, before embarking on them. This will save you panicked crises, nervous breakdowns and domestics. Possibly.
