I know that this may seem a little contradictory to what I was talking about yesterday but today I’m going to talk about darkness and how I’ve been absolutely hating it. Now the difference is that I’m not talking about darkness as some fearsome monster that allows baddies and monsters to hide but instead as some thick, insidious marauder who comes in faster than fog on a salt marsh. Darkness does have a big role to play in psychology especially at this woesome time of year when the closer you are to the top of the earth, the darker the world becomes and for longer.
This year has been particularly bad. I’m not sure why. It’s been a battle every single evening, lost of course to the stealthy pitch blackness that steals in with little warning. By 19h, you’re convinced that it’s now the middle of the night and you really should have been in bed hours ago. A little look at the clock just frightens you further, so early!
I know I wouldn’t be comfortable living in even more northern climes where day becomes a far off memory, I’ve always known this yet I’ve never struggled to adjust to the seasonal light change quite so badly. I was struggling even before they messed around with the wretched clocks. Oh my days, that first week, I’ve never felt quite so hideous.
Can darkness actually be darker than usual? Has our darkness been a particularly dark, black version? I find myself pondering these questions as I slope around miserably and wonder about going to bed. The only reason I can partly fathom, or maybe just suggest, was that ridiculously hot spell we had at the end of September threw us all completely out of sync. Totally out. One moment it was tropical the next it was dark by 17h. Uh, hello? That will mess with your head seriously. It did mine.
I think I am making my peace with the darkness. A little, cautiously. It no longer feels like the middle of the night at 19h and I am no longer shaken at the abrupt plunge towards darkness in the late afternoon. But then the temperature is dropping and winter seems like a possibility again. Maybe that is subconsciously prompting my mind to finally make the right conclusions about the season.
And hopefully soon, light will slowly start her battle for ascendency.